Have you noticed that people show their love in different ways? I've always known this, but what I didn't realize was this: When expressing love to someone in your own love language and not theirs - they might not get the message. This can become a BIG problem in marriages.
Several years ago, and before I had children, I read the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Recently, I picked it up and read it again. Now that I've been married for eight years and have three children - it had much more of an impact on me.
Dr. Gary Chapman points out and expounds on the five love languages which are:
Quality Time • Words of Affirmation • Gifts • Acts of Service • Physical Touch
I've learned that my husband's primary love languages are Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. When I give my husband a gift, he certainly appreciates it, but it doesn't send him the message that I really love him. Yet, when I tell him what a great job he's doing as a husband and father, he beams - he feels loved. And when he comes home from work and sees that the house is sparkling and that it smells good - he beams again!
My five-year-old son's primary love language is Quality Time. I can tell him what a good boy he is, and I can buy him toys. But when I ask him what makes him feel really loved he always tells me it is when I play with him and spend time with him. (Dr. Chapman points out that parents should express love to their small children in all five languages for the best effect).
Making an effort to speak the love languages of the people I care about has made a big difference in my life and in theirs! It is one of the simplest ways I have found to have harmony in my life. Try it!
What's your love language? Can you guess mine? (I have two).